Ask Venus & Mars: Risk the Friendship for Something More?

Dear Venus and Mars,

There is this one person that I really like. We’ve known each other for over a year now and I think that we’ve gotten to be really close friends. I don’t know if I’ve been taking anything the wrong way but I feel like I’m always being flirted with. I read your article on how to flirt and it seems like my friend is doing all those things. All of my friends say that it is flirting but I just don’t know what to say and what to do. I can’t really tell for sure but I really don’t want to come out and say it because my friend is in a relationship so I can’t come out and ask, “do you like me?”. So my question to you Venus and Mars is what does my friend feel? I know you guys can’t read minds, especially of someone you don’t really know but clues or something, ‘cause I think I’m falling for my friend, and I’d hate to be falling for someone who has no feelings for me.

Signed,

Flirty, Falling, and Confused

Dear Flirty, Falling and Confused

This is not an easy question to answer at all. I had to consult a lot of girls on the question, and I’ve come to a conclusion that you’re probably not going to like. As you know, it would be quite screwed up of you to get involved with anyone in a relationship. Next, you have to take into consideration how the other person you like feels. If he or she is genuinely happy with their significant other, why ruin or come in the way of what they have? It’s tough on you, but to do otherwise would be selfish of you and acting only on your emotions. Something else to take into account, that not many people realize is that people who are taken tend to flirt – a lot – perhaps more so then those who are single. This is because they are comfortable and confident in their relationship.  It’s something I’ve learned the hard way. So honestly, in this situation its best to hang back, if they want something more than friendship then it’s up to him/her to initiate it.  The only thing in my opinion that warrants you confronting your crush is if you feel like you absolutely have to tell this person how you feel, as in you feel like you’d die if you didn’t. That is the only case where I’d say go for it.  However, if he/she ever breaks up with their significant other, everything is fair game.

-Mars

Dear Flirty, Falling and Confused

You’re stuck between a rock and a very, very, very hard place. On one hand you are really into a taken friend and want to know whether the feeling is reciprocated. While on the other, you don’t want to ruin the friendship by admitting your feelings. I understand, it’s a big dilemma, but with a dilemma like this it all comes down to one HUGE question, what do you value more; your crush’s friendship or their affection? If your answer is their friendship, put your crush aside and allow your friend to be happy in the relationship they are in. However, Flirty and Falling, if it’s your friend’s affection you crave, take a leap of faith and go for it. Take the risk, the saying is true: the bigger the risk the better the reward.  It could turn out that your friend is just as interested in you as you are in him/her. Although beware, the situation can get very messy and you may not get the response you’re hoping for. If that happens, look on the bright side, at least the heavy burden of “what if” will be lifted from your shoulders and the constant wondering will end.

-Venus

Ask Venus and Mars: Glasses Vs. Contacts

I’m thinking of switching to contacts rather than glasses, but I’m not sure if I want to. On one hand, I’d think I’d look nicer without glasses, but I’d feel bad if I ditch the glasses to look prettier. What should I do?

 Dear Contact Contemplator,

It sounds like you have already answered your own question. Your gut is telling you to get contacts because you think you would look better. Follow that instinct and you can’t go wrong. There should be no reason for you to feel bad about what you want for yourself. While most people find contacts much easier than glasses, there is no harm in just testing them out.  If you don’t like them, you can always switch back. There is also the option of switching back and forth between glasses and contacts that can give you a more versatile look. It all comes down to what you feel most comfortable with, whether it’s contacts or glasses. 

-Venus

Dear Contact Contemplator,

I’d say it all depends on how you view glasses. Glasses today come in all sorts of fashions so that you can look your best wearing them. Trying a new style might suffice for you. If it doesn’t, then I would say that making the switch to contacts would be fine. There is no harm in making a change if it makes you feel better about yourself.  With contacts you do have to worry about the upkeep: washing, replacing keeping them clean and safe. This can be a hassle, but I’d say that if you’re willing and responsible enough to put up with that, then making the switch would be a good move.  I would definitely give it a shot; it’s not a permanent switch and if you’re dissatisfied, your glasses will still be there.

 -          Mars

 

Email Venus and Mars at vfttadvice@gmail.com  with your own questions

Ask Venus & Mars: How to Be Healthy for the Blood Drive

So Mars, how do you get healthy for a blood drive?

What you do to get healthy for a blood drive varies upon your needs. Now, if you already meet Blood Source’s requirements to donate then it’s pretty simple:  just do what they tell you. Eat well, drink lots of fluids, don’t do drugs, etc.

Now one problem I know a lot of people are having trouble with (girls especially) is the weight requirement. Blood Source says that you have to weigh a minimum of 110 pounds to donate blood safely. If you don’t, there are healthy ways to gain weight. I don’t mean pack on 20 lbs of brownie batter and ice cream – I mean gain 2-5 pounds healthily.

The best way to go about this is by eating lots of proteins and carbohydrates. These take longer to digest, slowing down your metabolism.

So what has protein and carbohydrates?

Proteins can be found in meats, eggs, soy, and fish. If you’re really bold, and you don’t mind the taste, then I recommend soy protein shakes. Each Has 20 grams of protein, and little to no fat.

Carbohydrates can be found in breads, pastas, bagels, etc. But don’t go out and grab a loaf of Wonder-bread and chow down. You should be eating whole grains – they have more carbohydrates, and so you’ll get more energy.  Multigrain bagels and cream cheese will have you at 110 pounds in no time.

Just eating a bagel a day isn’t going to cut it, especially if you’re active and/or athletic. You have to eat these foods in large amounts to see real results.  A few days after you donate you can return back to your normal.

Foods you should avoid:

1. Large amounts of cinnamon
2. Green tea
3. Strong black coffee

These have been shown to boost your metabolism and can make your efforts less worthwhile when you’re trying to lose weight.

Overall, just try to eat as healthy as possible while still trying to reach that total weight. If you are unable to reach the weight goal without resorting to extreme measures, don’t worry about it too much. It isn’t worth risking your own heath for that free t-shirt.

If you have a question for Venus & Mars, please email them at vfttadvice@gmail.com